Diana Trevino

CONTACT

Am I the right therapist for you?

by Leave a Comment

Coming to therapy can really be a tough decision. Finding the right therapist for you can be daunting.

A scary decision.  Especially if it’s your first time. There are many therapists out there. Finding the right therapist for you is key.  The most important thing is that you feel comfortable with the therapist that you’re working with. No matter what type of therapy they do. The number one thing is do you feel safe and comfortable.  The next key step, is this the right therapist for the goals you want to achieve in therapy?

I wanted to take this moment to introduce myself.  Allow myself to give you a little bit of who I am, what I focus on,  and what you can expect from therapy.

I have been practicing for close to 15 years now. This year will be 15 years. It’s gone by really quick and worked, as most therapists, through non-profits as they work towards their license. Close to the end, I realized I enjoy working with those who have experienced trauma in their past. Either growing up as a child with a series of different difficult experiences.  Experiences that tend to get carried on through to adulthood.

A lot of times when we have difficult experiences, we carry certain beliefs about ourselves, about others, and about the world. We carry it into adult relationships and find ourselves stuck in a similar relationship that we grew up with.

A lot of times we try our best not to do that and to try to do the exact opposite. Somehow it just happens. As I was working with clients, I realized the type of therapy that I was practicing, called EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization, and Reprocessing), was so effective with the clients that I was working with.

Seeing the transformation of those clients has really given me more passion to share it with others.

In another video, I’m going to explain a little bit more about EMDR, as well as other therapies that I now incorporate it with.  I just wanted to give you a little bit of my background and what you can expect when you start therapy with me.

When you give me a call, I try to ask questions to make sure that we are the right fit. Am I the right therapist in the sense of what you’re looking for? What your goals are for therapy? What you’re wanting out of therapy? And the type of therapy that I do is right for what your goals are. Once we square that out of the way, we discuss schedules and fees to make sure that our schedules will work together.

We can work on a weekly basis, I feel it’s so important to meet once a week because I find that clients just progress more and more quickly with that as well as with EMDR it’s just important that I am checking in with you each week just to make sure that things are going pretty smoothly.

Every two to three months, I’m checking to make sure that we are sticking to the goals you originally came in for. Are we on the right track? Do we need to tweak them a little bit? Do we need to adjust them a little bit? Or maybe you’ve worked through some of the things you originally came in for, but now you’re realizing there’s other things that you want to focus on. We talk a lot about your goals.  Making sure that we’re checking that we’re on the right path. Depending on what you’re coming in for, I will focus on some coping skills right away. If you feel pretty ready to dive in, then we’ll dive in pretty quickly.

The right therapist will meet you where you’re at.

The right therapist will meet you where you're at

It’s so important that you’re feeling just as ready to move forward. I will never force you to do anything that you’re not ready for.  We will take small steps if we need to. Once we work through some of the more difficult things that you might have experienced, we then check in with what you need now.

Do you need to learn how to express yourself? Some communication skills? Learning how to stand up for yourself? Are those things that you need next before you end therapy? Part of the coping skills is to make sure you have the tools to use once you leave therapy.  These are tools you can always come back to.

I can’t take all the problems of the world away.  I can’t take all the problems that will come up in your life down the road. But, I can give you the tools that you need to manage them and get through them when they come up.

When we realize you’ve met your goals and things are going smoothly, we don’t stop right away. I will slow down to every other week or once a month to make sure things continue to run smoothly.  Then once we do, it does not mean  you have to end forever or that you cannot come back. Therapy can come in phases. Maybe you don’t need to come back.  Maybe there’s another series of stressors that came all at once and you just need to re-charge.  We can meet again.

I wanted to give you a bit of my background.  Give you video too so that you can get to know who I am.  If I’m the right therapist for you, if you would like to learn more about the therapy I practice, I’m  happy to talk with you . My areas of focus are anxiety, panic attacks, developmental trauma, PTSD, post-traumatic stress disorder and a lot of my therapies mainly focus around those areas.

Again, if you are wanting to know a little bit more, making sure that we are the right fit, please definitely check out my website. I’d be able to talk with you further.

Filed Under: anxiety, EMDR, Post Traumatic Stress, therapist

Depression: Clinical vs. Situational & Options to Treat

by Leave a Comment

You may already know the signs and symptoms of depression:

  • Feeling sad daily or almost daily
  • Low energy and difficulty facing the day / tasks
  • Difficulty concentrating
  • Difficulty experiencing joy, pleasure, or interests in things you used to0
  • Wanting to be alone
  • Loss of appetite or over eat to soothe or distract

But in order to overcome depression, we need to understand whether our symptoms are clinical (more physiological) or situational.

Medical News Today defines clinical versus situational depression.  Specifically, “Disturbances in levels of certain chemicals — known as neurotransmitters….” in the brain creates a physiological reaction that leads to depressive symptoms.

And, “…., other factors are likely to play a role (in clinical depression), for example:

  • genetic factors may influence an individual’s response to an experience or event
  • major life events can trigger negative emotions, such as anger, disappointment, or frustration
  • alcohol and drug dependence also have links to depression” (https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314698.php)

Whereas, situational depression “is a short-term form of depression that occurs as the result of a traumatic event or change in a person’s life” (https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/314698.php).

Examples:

  • loss of a job or loved one
  • relocating
  • a break-up or divorce
  • experiencing a horrific event.  (recently or repeated events that occurred throughout one’s life)

Trauma and depression often coincide.

Traumatic reactions are  experienced immediately, while depressive symptoms are more likely to develop if it isn’t processed within six months.  Here a few possible reasons why:

  • You feel alone because nobody can quite fully understand your experience
  • You fear uncontrollable emotions or reactions will come up in social settings, so you begin to avoid others, isolate, and feel safer being alone.
  • The images, emotions, and physiological reactions to the event can be persistent and intense.  It is our natural tendency to avoid them or any other reminders of the event which becomes physically and mentally exhausting.
  • Your view of the world and reality changes.  Bringing a sense of overwhelm, loss of direction, and loss of confidence in yourself.  Doubt of what you use to know and how to manage things.   Making it difficult to know how to move forward.

 

The Other Driving Force:  Negative Beliefs

Negative thoughts are developed through our experiences.  Those thoughts are then carried with us through later life experiences, creating certain (and often automatic) reactions.  Reactions towards others, impacting our relationships, which then reinforce what we believe.  We feel stuck in a vicious cycle as you see below.  Hopelessness  takes over.

So how do I break the cycle?

Many types of therapies that have shown to be effective in managing and treating depression.  Very Well Mind describes a few of them (https://www.verywellmind.com/types-of-psychotherapy-for-depression-1067407).

Clinical depression is best treated with medication and therapy.  Medication helps balance chemicals in the brain that then reduces depressive symptoms.  Therapy can help process life events and thoughts that contribute to the symptoms.

If depressive symptoms are a result of a life changing or traumatic event, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) may also be an option.

EMDR was developed by Francine Shapiro, Ph.D. as a treatment for trauma.  Trauma is defined in EMDR as big T’s for severe trauma and little “t’s” for less severe trauma.  Examples of severe trauma are childhood abuse, neglect, victim of assault, or witnessing tragic events.  Examples of less severe trauma are being bullied in school, a performance on stage gone wrong, or the teacher embarrassed you in front of the whole class.  Any can cause a negative belief about oneself which then lingers and is carried into the next situation.  Any can cause physiological reactions and cause similar reactions in the future.

Let’s take the later as an example.  If you believe, “I’m wrong,” how would you feel the moment you approach a group of peers or when your boss asks you a question? Anxious perhaps.  How would your body react? Freeze, shake, chest and chin sink in, maybe throat clinches.

EMDR helps to identify these incidents and process them until that incident no longer has such an impact on you today.  “I’m wrong” changes to a more adaptive belief, “I’m okay as I am.”  The body remains calm and the mind present.

How would you approach a group of peers or when the boss asks you a question with this new belief in mind?

If depression is driven by negative thinking, and the negative thinking is a result of an experience you had, then EMDR may be the answer to gain a better and more adaptive perspective on yourself and others.

Providing relief and a new way of looking at things.  A clarity and lightness.

If it’s difficult to determine where your depressive symptoms are stemming from, a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist can help with questions surrounding the history of symptoms, as well as family and medical history.

To learn more about EMDR, you can go to my Services tab or you can follow the links below:

www.emdria.org

www.emdr.com

You can also call for free consult to see if EMDR may be helpful for you.

Filed Under: anxiety, depression, EMDR, Post Traumatic Stress, PTSD, Trauma

2019 – Taking One Day at a Time towards Success!

by Leave a Comment

It’s that time of year again. Everyone asking, “What’s your New Year’s Resolution?”

I was so proud of myself this year. I purchased a book that would help me set my goals for the year. I started to fill it out in early December. Before returning to work in the new year, my goals were clear. I’ve never been this ahead of the ball game before. I was so excited! Feeling good.

Then January 2nd arrived. I woke up with such a heaviness, lethargic and didn’t want to face the day. It only compounded when I couldn’t figure out why and frustrated that I was feeling this way. Just a couple of days ago I was so pumped up. It’s as if somebody said, “Nope!” They popped the bubble, and reality reared its head. When it was time to act, I just froze and got stuck.

Fortunately, one of my goals listed in my pretty, all inspiring book, was to journal at least 10 minutes each day. So, with dread, I pulled it out and began to express my thoughts. Of course, within a few minutes, it dawned on me.

Expectations!

I realized that I already had in my mind that I was going to fail. I always do. I start something and don’t follow through. Why would this year be different? January 2nd was the day to get started and when it came, my fear and overwhelm took over. The thought of failure stopped me in my tracks. So, I had a choice here.

There is always a choice!

Choose to stay in fear and confirm my belief or choose to do just something.

Just one thing!

Well at this point, I was already able to check off one accomplishment on my list of goals. I journaled today. That simple little step of acknowledging one tiny achievement was enough. It reminded me to be patient with myself and to just take one step at a time, rather than focusing on a deadline.

Resolutions are great reminders and a time to reevaluate what we want or need. The opportunity to try again. Expectations can be a healthy way of setting clear goals and boundaries. Goals give us a path of direction. But be careful of attaching success with whether you meet them. Success is trying, failing, and getting up again. Not meeting a deadline but that at some point, you reach it. Its not how you get there. It’s about the journey and what you learn about yourself.

Small steps, small achievements, little by little build a path to accomplishment and success.

So, I leave you with my mantra for this month.

One Day at a Time. One Step at a Time.

Emergencies, set-backs, failures, and Life will happen. Guarantee it! But all are opportunities to grow stronger, wiser, smarter.

Instead of giving into fear, I encourage you to THANK FEAR for trying to protect you from the pain of failure. Then let fear tag along to show that you can conquer through and overcome.

You Got This!

Filed Under: anxiety

Journal Tips for Stress Relief – But What Do I Write?

by Leave a Comment

I have nothing to say…

That dreaded blank page. Getting out the journal is anxiety driven. Throat and chest tighten. “What am I supposed to write? I don’t have anything to say.”
 

Well, can you just start there:

“I don’t know what to say. I feel weird doing this. Why did my therapist suggest I do this? I don’t like it.”

And just keep going. This is the great thing about journal writing. There is no right or wrong. It doesn’t have to be a specific something. Begin with the thoughts you notice in this moment. Your mind already knows what to do. You’re just putting it hand to paper, literally!

 

Are you still stuck?  Here are a few ideas:

  1. Right now, I feel…
  2. I can feel it in my (where do you feel it in your body? Chest, throat, jaw, stomach?)
  3. Today I’m grateful for…
  4. Today my day was (good, bad, long, stressful?)
  5. I can’t believe…
  6. Hope for…
  7. Wish that…
  8. Google “journal entry ideas”
  9. Journal your prayers or a dialogue with your deity
  10. Write a letter to someone saying whatever you want to say, (and I mean WHATEVER!) knowing this letter will never be sent to him or her. Get it off your chest. Maybe a spouse, partner, parent, friend, boss?
  11. Have a dialogue between your adult self and child self. We all have that inner child. This is a place to allow that inner child to express him or herself.  A place to be heard and understood.

Journal ideas are endless.

Don’t forget, you can always draw and color too!

A few more pointers:

  • Find a place that is quiet and calming for you
  • A place and time when you won’t be interrupted
  • Light a candle and put on some soft music
  • Grab a pillow and blanket
  • Close your eyes
  • Take a few deep breaths, check in with your body or mood and begin!
  • Laugh. Cry.  But also notice how your feel when you’re done.

Welcome You!

Filed Under: anxiety, Beliefs, Dreams, Self Awareness

Why does this keep happening? – Is the not the question to ask to stop depression or anxiety.

by Leave a Comment

We’ve all been there. You begin to workout at the gym consistently, get on a good diet, eating better, feeling better.  Then you fall off the bandwagon and back to your old patterns. You start off so well only to find yourself in our old ways of doing things and feel discouraged.  Depression and anxiety begin to creep in.  This can be true with work projects, school projects, house chores, hobbies, even communication in relationships.

Why do I keep doing this? Why can’t I just be disciplined like other people?

This is usually followed by a series of name calling, thoughts that beat yourself up. You feel bad, heavy, numb, or maybe constantly feeling on edge. Next thing you know, you want to stop, give up, and veg on the couch binge watching Netflix. All the while your head is playing the re-run of, “See, I’m not good enough,” or something close to it.

We use TV, phone, scrolling in social media, eating, etc. to escape from our thoughts because thinking keeps us in a cycle of rumination. And the WHY is what keeps us stuck in our thoughts. It’s time to stop thinking and start feeling.

Your emotions and physical sensations are where the answers lie.

This is where the healing happens. When you can listen to your emotions, accept them, then you are accepting yourself. Acceptance instead of rejection provides love and self-compassion. Love heals, fulfills, and motivates. Love and acceptance are the reason many of us get up every day. So why not provide it to yourself instead of beating yourself up for what you should be doing or what you’re not doing or what you are doing?

I get it.  You immediately think, “But I’m not good enough. I deserve to be punished. I don’t like myself. How can I love myself?”

Do you see how thoughts keep you stuck? Criticizing thoughts lead to shame which leads to avoidance (giving up, pushing away, ignoring, procrastinating, hiding). Love leads to acceptance which leads to motivation, only strengthening love.

A small step to asking “why” is by asking, “What is this?” Name the emotion you’re feeling. Identify where you feel it in your body; heaviness, watery eyes, rapid heartbeat, shakiness, tight stomach, shoulders, throat? Don’t ignore it or force it to be different when you notice it. Just notice it’s there and let it be.

3 Steps to begin listening to you and get out of the well of depression and anxiety.

For the next 7 days, at the end of your day, think of something pleasant that happened. It could be as small as someone smiled at you and held the door open for you, to as big as getting a promotion and a raise. Once you have that image and situation in mind, jot down these 3 things:

  1. What emotion(s) are you feeling as you think of it?
  2. Where do you feel it in your body?
  3. What is the thought/belief you’re having as you think about it?

For the following 7 days, (2nd week) do the same for Unpleasant events. Yes, unpleasant. This is when you can include those moments that you find yourself in an old pattern, or ignoring, avoiding, criticizing. If you can accept the bad just like you do the good, the less impact and power it has on you. If you keep ignoring or avoiding them, the more they build over time and weigh on you. Making it easier to give up and lose motivation. Would you rather listen to your reactions now and let it go, or ignore and hold on to them as they only get stronger?

After these two weeks, notice how you feel when you can pause and get to know your emotions, sensations rather than just your thoughts. This is empathy and self-compassion. This is you. Say hello, listen, and pay attention.

Yes, you do deserve this no matter your past or current circumstances.

Don’t let old thoughts tell you otherwise.

You can choose to listen to them or learn a different way of knowing, understanding, and choosing.

If you find that you’ve mastered the skill of not feeling, and it’s just too painful, overwhelming, or fear losing control if you turn to your emotions and sensations, speaking with a counselor can help break this barrier in a safe and gradual way. To learn more, please contact me for a free 20-minute consultation.

Filed Under: anxiety, depression, Mindfulness, Self Awareness, Uncategorized